


a tragedy built on destiny

by xxcaribbean



Category: One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 12:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxcaribbean/pseuds/xxcaribbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>he should’ve listened to his gut instinct telling him something wasn’t right that day, that something was off and none of them should’ve left the hotel room.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	a tragedy built on destiny

He waits.

He prays.

He cries.

Because that’s all he can do.

He sits outside of Liam’s hospital room, waiting for the moment the other boy will wake up again and hope against hope that there’s not an ounce of something so deep and raw in his eyes.

It shouldn’t be there.

See, Zayn’s always been cautious. He’s not like the other boys when it comes to people. He’s not too touchy-feely unless it’s with someone he knows and trusts, and it’s why he can allow the boys to climb all over him with no problem.

Niall and Louis are so care free but defensive when they need to be.

Harry really gives no fucks .

And Liam…

Liam just goes with the flow of things. He’s as much of a leader as a follower and that’s what had drawn him to Zayn in the first place. He’s the key piece in a game of chess that anyone can move in just the right place. He’s loyal and will always be there. It’s in his nature and in his soul. It’s the one thing that Zayn wouldn’t change about the boy.

Now though, everything is different. Zayn has taken on the role that Liam had once filled. He’s much more involved with things, more demanding to see things physically play out before him yet he’s as lost and confused as he’ll ever be.

And Liam’s taken on what Zayn had always been – cautious and careful and  _scared._

Zayn moves so that he’s leaning up against the threshold of the door to Liam’s room, peering into the smaller area because he can’t be bothered to walk in all the way. They’ve been here, meaning the boys and Liam’s family, for what seems like weeks, when in fact it’s only been about four days.

Everything’s gone to shit because someone hadn’t done their job, and Liam is currently the one paying for it.

It’d been a normal day, at least that’s what everyone had felt like it was, all except for Zayn. Something felt  _off_  but he hadn’t told anyone because he wasn’t sure exactly what was giving him that feeling. They’d had a couple of interviews to do, which had passed by as quickly as always and then they were to head straight to a signing before they played a show that night.

Only, that never happened.

After the interviews were over, and they were all sitting at the table, smiling and signing and being polite to everyone who screamed in their face and shouted at them that they loved them so much, there was one moment that Zayn recalls that put him on edge, and he knew he should’ve spoken up.

They were more than halfway through the signing when he’d approached the table. He’d been calm and collected, a bright smile on his face and a glint in his eye that Zayn wasn’t sure of. Zayn had been sitting at the edge of the table, the first one that every fan would meet before moving on down the line, and because of this, he had a good view on who was up next to meet him.

Zayn can’t remember if the guy had even given his name or not. Most likely he hadn’t seeing as most of the time the fans are so frazzled, they forget everything until they’ve met the boys and it’s all over with. But even if he had or hadn’t, Zayn remembers him, his face stuck in his mind, how he’d casually nodded to Zayn and gave each of the boys a  _thank you_  for signing the album booklet until he’d gotten to Liam.

Zayn had just happened to glance up at the right moment, to see how this boy’s smile on his face widened ever so slightly and the gleam in his eye grew to a sparkling hue of  _want_.

He had first tried to cast it off as this guy being a fan who happened to fancy Liam out of all five of them, but Zayn wasn’t stupid either; he knew that look because he’d been one to give Liam one of a similar taste just the night before, having taken Liam’s dick in his mouth and sucked him so good Liam had been spent enough to fall asleep straight after.

Though even if the look this fan was giving matched the desire Zayn felt for Liam, there was still something off, something  _wrong,_  and Zayn’s fingers curled around his sharpie, tighter than normal, all the while ignoring those standing in front of him, waiting for Zay to notice each and every one of them.

It felt like hours, with Zayn sitting there filled with an undeniable jealousy, but in reality, it’d only been a minute or so before the guy, who’d been adamant on talking to Liam, moved away from the table and on with his life.

Liam had a smile on his face.

Zayn hadn’t been worried. It’d be stupid to believe that Liam would go after a fan, and it’s not to say they weren’t special, and the boys were better than them, but Liam only wanted Zayn, and he knew it.

Really, he wasn’t jealous. There was nothing to be jealous of. They’d been together for awhile now and nothing, he’s sure, would separate them. But still, something wasn’t right, and Zayn felt weird throughout the rest of the signing as he tried his best to push it to the back of his mind and forget about it for good because he had a job to do, where it wasn’t the time or place to worry about feelings that probably didn’t even matter.

Yet later he’d been proved wrong; he should’ve listened to his gut instinct telling him something wasn’t right that day, that something was off and none of them should’ve left the hotel room, at all, because directly after the signing, when they’d all been escorted to the vans, Louis and Harry in one with Zayn and Niall in the other, they’d been driving away when Zayn had a sudden thought of Liam and why he wasn’t in the car with them.

So he’d texted Liam first to see if he’d gotten into the first van, but when no reply came, he texted Louis, growing rather impatient with no one answering him. They’d almost left Liam behind once before earlier in their career, when the mass of fans weren’t that hysterical, and it’d been funny back then, but the longer it took Louis to text him back the more his anxiety began to grow and the worry in his stomach fluttered and multiplied by a thousand.

It’d been then that he’d turned to look out the back window, watching as a swarm of fans gathered outside of the venue while security continued to hold them off, and Zayn tried desperately to move his vision around, playing  _Where’s Waldo_  in a sea of endless screams and jumping girls. Though the more he scanned his gaze over the crowd and the farther away the van pulled away from the mass, he couldn’t spot any sign of the other singer, and he found that his fingers had somehow curled over the backrest of the seat, leaving tiny little imprints on the leather, marking it with fear.

“Something’s wrong, Niall,” Zayn had said. He then turned to the Irishman who looked about ready to fall asleep until Zayn nudged him with his hand.

“Everything’s fine,” Niall said.

But it wasn’t because when they got back to the hotel, Liam still wasn’t anywhere to be found and when they’d gotten inside the hotel lobby, Zayn became flustered and told everyone in their entourage to stop walking and listen.

“ _Where_  is Liam?” he stressed. The male in question wasn’t with them, and he certainly hadn’t been with them in the cars and the most plausible answer would’ve been that they’d left him behind at the venue, and Zayn had prayed that to be true.

By then, he’d muttered a string of curses and pulled out his phone to find there was still no a text message or calls from Liam, and it was then he’d decided to dial his number in another attempt to reach his mate.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Until a voicemail message came up and by then there was no doubt in Zayn’s mind that something bad had happened, and he probably could’ve prevented it.

When he’d looked back at everyone, he found their team, management and whatnot on the phone, making phone calls while the rest of the boys moved closer to Zayn himself to see what he had to say. Their brows were scrunched, confused, and Zayn could see that out of them all, Harry was on the verge of tears because things were suddenly very hectic and Zayn had been the one to make it happen, knowing he should’ve listened to what his gut had been telling him all along.

They were then told to go back to their rooms and lock the door and not come out until management had news.

All four of them slept in the same bed that night, Harry curled around Zayn so tightly, his face was practically squished up against the older boy’s chest while Louis and Niall took to either side of them, providing warmth and comfort because that’s all each one of them had.

They whispered to one another throughout that night, words of comfort and that nothing was wrong, nothing too terrible had taken place. Liam was just lost, really lost and he was having a hard time finding his way back.

But the lack of news and the way the night turned into morning told a different story, that Liam wasn’t around, that he was missing, and it left Zayn standing on the hotel balcony, looking over the city and the rising sun, folding up his hands and looking up at the sky, turning to the one thing he wasn’t even sure could hear him.

_Please make sure that Liam is okay._

He’d closed his eyes and let a few tears slip down his cheeks before he’d went back into the hotel room to lay back down with the other three boys in the room, clinging to them for something they just didn’t have because Liam had been the only one to offer it, to have it and to give it to Zayn, to make him feel better about himself and everything around him. Yet that had been taken from him, and he’d been left with nothing but a void and an ache in his heart.

While for that morning he chose to stay in bed, by the time noon came around, he was up, walking straight out of the hotel room despite anyone’s attempts at telling him to stay, so he could find someone on their team to figure out what was going on and why they were taking so long.

Nothing made sense to Zayn, only the fact that something had happened to Liam, and he couldn’t be found.

It only made the pit in his stomach widen further, and he wasn’t sure if he needed to find a trash can in order to spill his guts because this was eating him up. The sense of worry that ran through his veins, he could only describe as something desperate and wild, untamed and slightly on the side of what a mother felt when her child was no longer around.

It fucking  _hurt_.

He eventually found someone. He didn’t care who they were or what they’re name was; he bluntly asked what the fuck was going on until they’d give him an explanation.

_They found Liam’s mobile at the venue. It was broken, like it’d been dropped._

And he’d only responded with  _what aren’t you telling me?_

Because he’d been able to pinpoint when someone wasn’t being straight up honest. He’d always been able to see through people by observing them and paying attention to their mannerisms, their little ticks and Zayn didn’t appreciate being kept in the dark because that wasn’t right, because Zayn cared so much for Liam.

The guy had seemed hesitant to say anything, opening and closing his mouth in a way that suggested he was having an internal argument with himself on whether this was right or whether he should send Zayn back to his room.

 _They found blood_.

And Zayn lost it. He was furious, his heart hammering in his chest, hands curling into fists and he growled out, startling the bodyguard before him.

There’d only been a few things on his mind then _\- Is Liam hurt? Is he okay? I could’ve stopped this because I knew something was wrong. Will we ever see him again, and will I ever get to tell him I love him?_

And then his anger dissipated, and he’d been left in agony. He’d been pretty sure there was a wait limit on contacting the police for a missing persons report, and it was likely that Liam was only lost, he tried thinking, because it had only been a couple of hours, and he wanted to believe anything other than the fact that his best friend, the one he loved, could be gone.

x.x.x.x

Zayn continues standing against the frame of the door, looking over at Liam in his bed. His family is inside, all spread out across the various amounts of chairs lined up against the wall.

Zayn wishes he could join them, but he’s sure he’s intruded enough as it is.

Really, he shouldn’t be here. It’s not like he didn’t care for Liam, because he does, but he figures the family is tired of him always hanging around, wanting to know if Liam’s okay because he hasn’t entered the room yet; he hasn’t gone in to see Liam since that morning of the signing.

He’s desperate though. He wants to. Liam’s been awake and coherent, and he seems fine, his mother had even left the room to tell him that Liam wanted to see him but he only shook his head and said it wasn’t time yet, though he’s not sure when the right time will be.

He’d looked for Liam. He tried to help the police by recalling any memory he had, letting the police know of the man he figured had something to do with it, the one at the signing that had given off a strange vibe.

But as Zayn stands there, watching as Liam sleeps, his body twitching while he does so, most likely from a nightmare, Zayn wonders if things will ever be the same again. He doesn’t know what’s happened, and he’s scared to find out, terrified to find that Liam doesn’t want him around anymore, doesn’t want to be loved by him anymore, and that whatever he’d gone through had been damaging enough to scare Liam for life.

And he’d seen the doctor talk to the family outside of Liam’s room. He’d heard the hushed conversation.

_Raped and beaten. Kidnapped._

It’s a mantra that runs through Zayn’s head because Liam didn’t deserve that, no one deserves that, and the blame he had put upon himself had come on twice-fold when he’d heard those words.

And it’s mostly the reason he’s hesitant to fully walk up to Liam and say anything. He hopes beyond hope that the other boy doesn’t believe Zayn doesn’t want to see him because of what he’s been through, because that’s so far from the truth. Zayn’s not sure how he’ll react himself, and he’s also not sure if he’s ready to hear what Liam has to say, has to tell him because that guilt would only come on stronger.

Zayn continues looking at the bed, his eyes portraying his actions. He wants so badly to walk over to the boy and lay beside him, hold his hand and press his lips against the side of his head, whispering nothing but endearments and that he’ll always be there for him no matter what.

But then Zayn retreats from the room and opts to sit in the hallway, back pressed against the wall while he sits on the floor. The chairs have become too uncomfortable for him, and although the floor isn’t any better at giving relief, he can stretch his legs and lean up against the wall so he can think about what has become of his life, of Liam’s, of the band’s.

He’s not entirely sure if there’s even a band to go back to anymore

Zayn knows nothing yet. It’s all a game of cards at this point, if the wrong move is made everything could go crashing down around them but if given an opportunity, they could also have the potential chance at rising back up over everything that’s happened.

For now though, Zayn chooses to ignore it because he can’t think about reality; it’s all he’s been hearing as of late, how things have gone wrong and how things are changing. It’s such a slap in the face, a wake up call to everyone around them because of one little mistake on his part.

He should’ve said something. He should’ve been by Liam’s side the entire time that day.

And now he can’t even bring himself to go anywhere near the other boy because of what he feels, what he’s done.

He stays for another two days, waiting in the hallway and only leaving whenever he has to go to the bathroom. Whenever the other boys come to visit, they bring him a change of clothes and food because they know Zayn and how he worries and won’t eat.

And it’s after those two days that something finally changes. Zayn’s not sure what’s going on but there’s movement coming from Liam’s room and at first Zayn thinks it’s one of his family members moving about, getting ready to exit the room so he turns his attention back to his phone, paying no mind to what’s going on.

But then he hears a voice coming from the room, and it catches Zayn’s interest, although he’s not sure why.

So when he looks up to glance in the direction of the hospital room, what he finds makes him pale and stand up as quickly as possible.

“Liam,” he chokes out. “What are you doing?” Zayn can’t find it in himself to say anything else because Liam needs to be in bed. His wounds need to heal, and he shouldn’t jostle himself too much.

“Looking for you,” is all he replies with before he takes a few steps towards Zayn.

He doesn’t get very far because his face twists in pain and his arm reaches out to grasp at the doorframe, and it’s then that Zayn finds himself rushing over to his side, forgetting everything he’d been thinking of beforehand.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Zayn says.

Liam snorts. “I can’t do any worse than what’s already been done.”

And Zayn’s heart constricts so tightly in his chest that he lets out an audible breath before something akin to a sob escapes.

“Please don’t say that.” It’s a whisper on his tongue, but one full of determination that the hardness seeps through. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Zayn takes Liam’s arm, careful not to squeeze too tightly and doesn’t move until Liam looks at him and nods, stating he’s okay with what Zayn’s doing.

They move, slowly at first and with most of Liam’s weight on Zayn. He doesn’t think about anything other than the fact that Liam needs to get back in bed and that it’s nice to finally be near him again.

When the other boy is lying on the hospital mattress, Zayn takes the sheets and pulls them over Liam, making sure he’s tucked in nicely and that he feels okay.

“I’m not going to break, Zayn.”

His voice snaps Zayn out of his daze, pulling his eyes up to meet with Liam’s brown ones. He tries to mask the emotions he has, but he’s sure it doesn’t matter because even if he had the best poker face in the world, Liam would be able to tell whenever he was lying.

“I want you to sit in here with me.”

Zayn nods. He can do that.

He pulls a chair from against the wall and moves it closer to the bed before sitting down and taking Liam’s hand in his own.

“Why didn’t you come see me?”

The question strikes Zayn close to his heart, and he shakes his head.

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me to.”

Liam squeezes Zayn’s hand before trying his best to give him a small upwards quirk of the lips.

“Just promise me that you won’t leave this room unless I tell you to.”

This time around, Zayn squeezes Liam’s hand. It’s a silent promise as much as it is Zayn’s objective to make sure that everything will be okay.

Even if it isn’t.


End file.
